Paul King's Page
Profile
- Hometown:
- Gloucester
- About Me:
- I'm a writer and illustrator but making a living as a graphic designer (with over 20 years experience). My aim is to get my first novel published, my first sitcom script accepted and to get rich and stick my fingers up to people who never thought I'd make it!
Hello all. Here is a snatch (stop laughing you at the back!) of one of my scripts I hope to sell!
IT'S AT THE PRINTERS - HONEST!
(Interior of a studio in a publishing house. This is the first day of moving in to the new premises. The studio is a scene of utter chaos and everyone’s busy - talking!) Enter Paul -
Paul: God it’s hot in here!
Regina (caught with her hand at the air-con controls): Well of course it is, to you! You’ve just walked in.
Paul: Yeah and?
Regina: From the streets
Paul: Yeah and?
Regina: Well obviously you’re going to be hot and . . . I can sense a little something . . .I’m trying to be delicate here!
Paul: . . .And?
Regina: . . . I’m trying to be delicate here!
Paul: What? Are you trying to say - that I’ve dragged in a certain ambience?
Regina: . . . Well now that you mention it, perhaps you should stick to public transport.
Paul: How do you know I didn’t come by bus?
Regina: Because of the route you take, you smell like, well – foreign food.
Paul: And how do you know I didn’t come by bus?
Regina: Actually you do have a point, and quite frankly I don’t think they should allow food on buses.
Paul: Nor old people, children, foreigners or aliens, racists or gays. Did I leave anyone out?
Regina: Well I’ll stick to my bicycle thanks, at least I go fast enough to avoid smell penetration.
Paul (whispering to Bob, a co-worker as he walks past her): Well that’s the only penetration she’ll ever get.
Bob (chipping in): Well roll me in shit and call me a cowpat because if that’s the smell of health I’d rather have the air of a nicely matured fart about me.
Regina: No change there then . . .
Paul: Yeah and all the while we thought there was a dead cat under the desk!
Bob: Oh, sorry, that’ll be my trainers!
Paul: Well I wish you’d train them to stay outside! I tell you what’s weird about walking to work though, that odd little woman I told you about - now she’s wierd! She passed me by again, you know, the one who’s always knitting as she walks? She was sewing buttons on today!
Bob: Oh that’s nothing. I passed two guys who were playing ping pong as they walked along.
Paul (rolls his eyes): Yeah right. With a net between ‘em I suppose?
Bob: Well actually, now you come to mention it, there was a girl with them, but she looked more of a Tracy I feel than an Annette.
Regina: God, it’s like being surrounded by muppets. (she walks back to her desk).
Bob: Yeah, seeya Elmo, so, this exotic smell you’ve aquired - is it from the gap?
Bill (just got in at 9.10): More like a crack!
Mrs Meringue the Studio Manager appears, handing out the mail:
I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.
Everyone bursts out laughing. She gives then an icy look.
Mrs Meringue: And what, pray tell is so funny?
Paul: We were talking bottom subject matter, when you came by.
Bob: Ha, you’re always talking out of your arse!
Mrs Meringue: Oh please, you are all graduates. Please conduct yourselves accordingly. For your information, when I said that I’ve got to get to the bottom of this, I meant the mail problem, it’s still disappearing.
Bill: Oh that! That’s just the invisible envelopes - got them from the invisible ink shop.
Mrs Meringue: Bill, I almost laughed them.
(to be continued)
© PKing 0608
(Interior of a studio in a publishing house. This is the first day of moving in to the new premises. The studio is a scene of utter chaos and everyone’s busy - talking!) Enter Paul -
Paul: God it’s hot in here!
Regina (caught with her hand at the air-con controls): Well of course it is, to you! You’ve just walked in.
Paul: Yeah and?
Regina: From the streets
Paul: Yeah and?
Regina: Well obviously you’re going to be hot and . . . I can sense a little something . . .I’m trying to be delicate here!
Paul: . . .And?
Regina: . . . I’m trying to be delicate here!
Paul: What? Are you trying to say - that I’ve dragged in a certain ambience?
Regina: . . . Well now that you mention it, perhaps you should stick to public transport.
Paul: How do you know I didn’t come by bus?
Regina: Because of the route you take, you smell like, well – foreign food.
Paul: And how do you know I didn’t come by bus?
Regina: Actually you do have a point, and quite frankly I don’t think they should allow food on buses.
Paul: Nor old people, children, foreigners or aliens, racists or gays. Did I leave anyone out?
Regina: Well I’ll stick to my bicycle thanks, at least I go fast enough to avoid smell penetration.
Paul (whispering to Bob, a co-worker as he walks past her): Well that’s the only penetration she’ll ever get.
Bob (chipping in): Well roll me in shit and call me a cowpat because if that’s the smell of health I’d rather have the air of a nicely matured fart about me.
Regina: No change there then . . .
Paul: Yeah and all the while we thought there was a dead cat under the desk!
Bob: Oh, sorry, that’ll be my trainers!
Paul: Well I wish you’d train them to stay outside! I tell you what’s weird about walking to work though, that odd little woman I told you about - now she’s wierd! She passed me by again, you know, the one who’s always knitting as she walks? She was sewing buttons on today!
Bob: Oh that’s nothing. I passed two guys who were playing ping pong as they walked along.
Paul (rolls his eyes): Yeah right. With a net between ‘em I suppose?
Bob: Well actually, now you come to mention it, there was a girl with them, but she looked more of a Tracy I feel than an Annette.
Regina: God, it’s like being surrounded by muppets. (she walks back to her desk).
Bob: Yeah, seeya Elmo, so, this exotic smell you’ve aquired - is it from the gap?
Bill (just got in at 9.10): More like a crack!
Mrs Meringue the Studio Manager appears, handing out the mail:
I’ve got to get to the bottom of this.
Everyone bursts out laughing. She gives then an icy look.
Mrs Meringue: And what, pray tell is so funny?
Paul: We were talking bottom subject matter, when you came by.
Bob: Ha, you’re always talking out of your arse!
Mrs Meringue: Oh please, you are all graduates. Please conduct yourselves accordingly. For your information, when I said that I’ve got to get to the bottom of this, I meant the mail problem, it’s still disappearing.
Bill: Oh that! That’s just the invisible envelopes - got them from the invisible ink shop.
Mrs Meringue: Bill, I almost laughed them.
(to be continued)
© PKing 0608
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Comment Wall (5 comments)
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your pictures display just fine now, and very nice they are too!
Looks like you used a combination of various packages to get the final results (I'm guessing photoshop and illustrator?). I liked the use of photos as a backdrop as well.
Paul :-)
I think the ning network might've been experiencing problems when you first uploaded them (as the very second I got the query email that you made yesterday, the whole network went down due to 'maintennance issues').
At the moment your pictures aren't displaying at all on the computer I'm using (I just get a small red cross motif), except in the slideshow on your main page, where they seem to look fine.
What I'd suggest is deleting them both, and try uploading them again. JPG's should work fine. It's best to upload pages at a webfriendly sort of size (not A4) - say 1200 pixels wide, for example.
I'll be online for a few more hours, so if you're able to have a go at uploading them again I'll be able to tell you how they're looking.
All the best,
- Dave
welcome aboard!
I'll have a proper read of that script sample a bit later, if I get the chance (depends if it's a chaotic day at work or not)